Finding My Way...

I think I've finally found my way - or at the very least, settled on who I am here. With the decision made to return to the US on July 1st, I find resolve.

I know who I am here. I don't have to try to be a spanish speaker. I will not learn to speak spanish here.  I'm just the girl that popped in for 1 year and popped right back out. I didn't learn spanish, but I learned to function. I made some unbelievable friends. There is something about living in another country that creates a bond between people that is different than anything that I have ever experienced. These girls were my life-line. They enabled me to survive the crazy. They understand what every look on my face means and what emotions I am going through. It was an insta-bond kind of friendship that I will be eternally grateful for.

I feel like for 6 months before our move here, I was focused on getting here. Now, with only 3 months left, I'm focused on leaving. I feel less invested. When we first arrived, my purpose was to figure things out and to help my family sort it out, too. We've adjusted. We fit in. Which left me feeling like I didn't have a clear purpose. What am I supposed to do now? I felt like I was just "biding my time" until we moved back.

Luckily, Zumba arrived in the way of two new ladies moving in to our church from the US. Both are Zumba instructors and both have offered free classes. After 1 class, I was hooked! Now, I go to Zumba. It gives me something to do besides pinterest. :) I even ventured out to the local YMCA type facility and will sign up for classes next week. For around $20 USD a month, I can take 5 Zumba classes a week. I'd like to say that I'll come back skinny-minny, but that isn't the case. I eat too much. But whatever. It gets me up and out of the house allowing me to do something besides taxi my kids.

Yep. I've figured out who I am and what I do and it only took 9 months. It will be another adjustment when we get back - but I'm not crossing that bridge yet. I've got graduation and missions around the corner. I'm not ready to look too far into the future just yet. I like being here in Chile just thinking about what to make for dinner. As hard as it is, it's a lot easier than letting go...

Thank goodness for Chile!

Are You My Friend?

I've come to a startling realization that the world is a vasty different place than what I thought it was back in my little, bitty, comfortable bubble at home.

Worldwide, for the most part, we all have similar values of family. We all want what's best for our children, and we all want them to struggle less than we have, yet live better than we do. We all strive to provide our children with every opportunity to be successful. Broadly speaking.

I grew up in a supportive loving environment with parents and siblings that supported me every step of the way. We all went to each other's events. We spent weekends at the park, dinners around the table together. Financially, it wasn't always roses, but we didn't know the difference. We were loved. We had everything we needed. We were happy.

We loved our parents. Were they our best friends? UH NO! Did we respect them. Yes. Were we afraid of what would come if we broke the rules? You bet! We may have butted the system more than once, but we knew when my dad said something, there was no negotiating. In the same breath, we knew without a doubt that he loved us unconditionally and would move mountains for us. We manipulated my mom a little easier. Played on her sensitive nature. Tried to get our way by wearing her down. Not intentionally - but as an adult, I can look back and see what was happening. She was the softer one. She thought about our feelings and tried to balance that. My dad just stated the facts and moved on. No negotiating. I think the two of them created a positive balance. It was a good place to learn and grow.

My husband and I have tried to create a balance in our relationship with our children. We are a little less cut and dry as far as our roles go. Sometimes he is no-nonsense, sometimes it's me. It depends on what we personally feel more passionate about, or when one of us is about to loose it - the other steps in. We are not perfect by any means, but we try our best and it works most of the time.

One thing we both agree on is the simple fact that we are NOT here to be our children's friends. The relationship between parent and child far exceeds any relationship that you can have with a friend. It is different. It has more depth. It is eternal. If my kid hates me right now because I want them to do homework before playing video games - then so be it. I know that in that moment the feeling of hate is very real, but I also know that feeling is temporary. I'll take it. I'm a big girl. I know that regardless of how much they hate the rules, restrictions, or limits, they will unconditionally love me because I unconditionally love them. Guess what? In that moment of frustration, I'm not too thrilled with them either. Hate is a little strong - but unhappy for sure. Irritated. Frustrated. I'm there to buddy.

I was a part of a conversation with a mother of a 14 year old boy in our school today. Apparently, they hosted a birthday party in their home for their son, only to discover that two of the boys had brought (hidden) their own alcohol and were fairly drunk when they were finally discovered. The host parents took the kids out of the party and proceeded to take them to another room and had them drinking water.

No parents were notified. The kids eventually took taxis home (which is common here) and nothing more was said. This mother was concerned about "telling on the kids" because she wants the parties to be in her home where she can supervise these things. Drinking is a fairly accepted mode of entertainment at parties for children as young as 12-13. Parents allow it.

I was mortified. I told her that if it were my son, I would want to know. I would be livid if it came back to me later that she had "handled it" as if she were the parent. I have every right to "handle it" in a way that I see fit. Granted, my kids are not taking taxis home, and if they get a ride, we meet them and talk with them before they head off to bed. We'd notice if a kid came home intoxicated. But the point is -

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU NEED TO BE THEIR FRIEND?

I get wanting to be the "cool house" and have the kids gathering there; but are these the kids you are going to allow your son to be friends with? Where is the line? What happened to good old fashioned NO? What happened to parents being able to count on each other to look out for our kids?

I talk to parents whom I respect greatly that allow their high school students to consume alcohol. I understand that in other countries the drinking age is lower. I also understand that drinking is an acceptable form of socializing for many people. However, I do have to say, the message we teach our kids when knowingly allow them to break a law, is not something we should be doing. It is not legal here in Chile for anyone under 18 to be drinking.

In Chile, it is not legal for my children to drive. The legal driving age is 18. In the US, my 17 year old can drive anywhere he'd like. So while in the US, he drives. In Chile, he does not. I believe it is important to follow the laws of what ever land you're living in.

This whole idea of being the "cool mom" or not wanting your kid to hate you - at what point did that become our priority? When did raising our kids become a popularity contest? I hated my parents loads of times when we were growing up, but as an adult I respect them. I respect them for setting boundaries and am grateful for the lessons that I learned because of them. I understand as an adult how to function in an environment where things don't always go my way. I respectfully can have a conversation with someone whom I disagree with and move forward from there. I am not devastated when I don't get my way - because quite frankly, things are not always going to go my way, and I learned that at an early age.

I learned to stand up for myself while still respecting others and authority. I fear what could become of a society that allows our children to blatantly disobey laws and authority. A society where the blame always rests on someone else's shoulders. A society who was raised by "best friends" instead of parents.

As adults are we lacking the confidence it takes to be the bad guys? Do we have so few friends that we need our kids and their friends to love us too? I am not pretending to have all the answers, but I do think that living amongst people with vastly different ideals has solidified who I am as a parent, and as a person. The thing that scares me: I seem to be in the minority...

Extra work.

Why are things harder here? Everything you do takes extra work. Case in point:

We get a letter "in the mail" (which means thrown near our front door) from the city. I have to go online, type the whole thing into google translate, and then try to decipher what it means. Apparently, they are replacing trash bins...

I want to make waffles for dinner. I have to unplug the transformer from the video game systems upstairs (amid - "argh... I am in the middle of playing. Let me finish this battle") then drag down this 400lb beast to the kitchen. OK so it's not 400lbs - and I have my kids bring it to me. The point is; I can't just plug in the waffle maker. Everything is always a process.

The pool guys are here. I have to be here to let them in the side gate. They come between 10am and 4pm on Mondays. So I have to sit around and wait. Not that I have any major plans, but I have to plan my shower, workout, (and my nap) around them coming. Yes. I like to take a nap - especially on Mondays. Seminary is early people.

I want to make a cake, but have to read the box. Google translate - or hubby - have to help. "Just buy one" you say? Yeah. You have to read the label on the store-bought cake too!

Whatever. I get things done. It just takes longer. I spend my whole day doing all kinds of things but end up with nothing really done. Does that even make sense to anyone living inside the US? Probably moms of little kids. Moms of little kids understand...

Go White Girl, Go White Girl, Go!

We arrived back to Chile following our vacation literally fat and happy :) I had collected more that just souvenirs during our journeys. I don't think I gained so much on the cruise surprisingly (we did soo much walking) - but AFTER the cruise when we were in the US and thrilled to have yummy fast food again. We ate out for every meal that week we were in Phoenix, then ordered food for the family gatherings in Utah. My mom tried feeding us healthy food -but my kids kept wanting to eat out. Panda Express, Chick-fil-a, IN-and-OUT Burger, YogurtLand, Krispy Kreme, you name it - we ate it.

Luckily, upon our arrival, we found out that not one - but two new women at church had moved into our area from the US and both were Zumba instructors. Then I find out that they are offering free classes at our church building for anyone who is interested. Hell-o! I am interested!

After our first class, I was hooked. The Saturday class is a double. 8am and 9am. One regular Zumba the other Zumba Toning. Perfect! Within 2 weeks, I was down the weight I had gained on vacation.

I LOVE this style of exercise. I danced a lot in high school for cheerleading competitions, and went to college on a Dance Team Scholarship - I love to dance. So this is an ideal workout. I am having a blast.

BUT, here is the thing: I have never felt like such a white girl in my entire life and I even danced with some die hard booty-shakin' black girls in college. Even the older women get out there and shake it like nobody's business. Shakin' it is in their blood... I can shake it - but NOT like that! Holy Smokes! It's like Carnival up in here!

It doesn't stop me. I still love it. I just get out there and shake it like a gringa -

I should note that these two new US ladies, are actually from Brazil and Uruguay. So when they are up there teaching - it is a blast! Viva Zumba en Chile!

Summer Vacation 2013: Part 7 - Back in the US

That final day in Rome started to bring reality back into focus. Our reality was that we had a house that had flooded in Arizona, 2 weeks of state hopping around the US visiting family, and then back to Chile for our final semester of school here.

How were we going to get everything done that needed to be? A little bit of weight began to rest on our shoulders.

We flew 10 1/2 hours to Atlanta. Then the 4 hours back to Phoenix. We arrived at our house late on Saturday and realized we'd need a hotel. There was no way we'd be able to stay there (we were holding out hope that we could spend a few nights in our Sleep Number bed).  So we headed to our hotel. I searched through bag after bag until I found church clothes and headed up to the laundromat to do a couple loads before morning. It was all I could do to keep my eyes open. After living in Chile, and vacationing in Rome, I couldn't make myself just LEAVE my clothes in the laundry room at the hotel. So I sat there and watched them.

We all wanted to go to church on Sunday to see all of our friends. Thankfully, we were all up and wide awake by 7am with the time difference between Phoenix and Rome. It was good to see everyone. After church we went to our house to look at things in the daylight. Wow. What a mess...

Here are the pictures that our friends took of our house when they first arrived. By the time we got there, the dry-out crew had already removed the water and debris. The drywall had been removed in several places and fans were everywhere. It also smelled to high heaven. Like "Christine's Basement". (My family will know that that means) Old lady, wet basement. YUCK!

This first pictures shows the ice left on the driveway. Our next door neighbor left for work when he saw ice on the driveway. He knew that wasn't right, so he called his wife to have her check and see if we had a sprinkler leak. She walked over and heard water pouring in the garage - and quickly realized that it wasn't a sprinkler leak. We had 3 days of freezing temperatures in Phoenix and our pipes just couldn't take it. 

Water was pouring out of the front, back and side doors. This is a picture of the back doors.

This photo shows the water in the hallway looking into the laundry and garage. 

The ceiling in the laundry room. The leak was in the wall between the two showers upstairs. The laundry room and garage ceilings got the brunt of it. The garage ceiling fell on my car. I just had all the dings and scratches buffed out of it last year. Luckily, I don't see any damage. The drywall was so wet that when it fell, it was probably not much harder than a wet towel.

Water between the wall and the paint. 

The ceilings were all soaked. So were the walls. There were able to dry out most of the ceiling. Everything will be repainted and treated with a mold something or other. BONUS: Bye Bye Popcorn Ceilings!

The water was about 1/4 deep when our friends first went in the house.  

More ceiling damage in the laundry room. When the dry-out guys removed the washer and dryer, water poured out of both. Not a good sign.

Greg and I got through most of everything in the 5 days we were in Phoenix and still managed to have dinner with friends. Surprisingly, not one single irreplaceable was damaged. All of my photos were fine. Only 20 were in an album that was on the bottom shelf of the desk. They were salvageable. Everything else was just stuff. 

Having lived in another country for a year with only a few items from home, has made me realize that all that "stuff" at home just clogs up my mental peace. I had intended to go home and get rid of 2/3 of everything we have. I'm over stuff. So this just kicked that in gear a little sooner than we planned. 

We met with insurance guys, carpet guys, the contractor. We went through the attic and everything in the house that was wet. 

It was a whirlwind but in the end, we felt good about the way we were leaving things so we headed to Kaysville (Fruit Heights), Utah as planned for a fun weekend with family. My oldest niece, Katie, will be submitting papers soon to serve a mission for our church. We are so excited for her. My littlest niece, Marisa has grown like crazy. The last time we got to snuggle her, she was just a month old. Now she's a year and we got to be there to witness some of her first few steps - she walked to Uncle Greg. It made his heart melt. Oliver is Andrew's age and Quinn is Alex's age. They are the best of friends.
There are not many pictures of our few days in Utah. Probably because we were overwhelmed with the house. But we had a great time. Dinner as a whole group every night, shopping at an adorable boutique with Katie and Michele (her mom), nails, home movies, you know - all the good stuff. Lots and lots of laughing! Andrew even went on a blind date with Oliver and some of his friends. It was a great weekend.

Monday morning, Greg headed to Minneapolis for meetings, and the kids and I headed to Independence, Missouri to visit my family. We had a new family member to meet. Little Colton was born at the end of September and we've only 'goo'ed and 'coo'ed at him via the internet. 

He was still batttling RSV so he was a little sick - but he constantly had a smile on his face. He is the sweetest little guy. He makes 11 grandkids for my parents. Colton is my brother Randy's first. Randy is the baby in our family - the youngest of the twins. Randy named Colton after his twin brother, Ryan. I love that! We loved actually getting to cuddle little Colton Ryan.

Even though the trip was quick, there was still time to have fun with Uncle Matt.

I talk to my mom and sister almost every single day via Facetime or Skype - or text using WhatsApp; but I miss talking to my brothers and dad. I am the oldest of 5 kids. We grew up really close and I miss them like crazy. Matt is the oldest of the boys and the middle child. 

My brother Ryan lives in Oklahoma and was planning to drive up, but was hit with the horrible flu bug that was sweeping across the states. So I missed him. I got to spend time with Randy - but due to his travel schedule at work, he was out of town when we had our little photo session. 

The kids went sledding. Andrew is looking quite dashing in Uncle Matt's hunting coveralls. My family in Missouri are camo-wearing hunters. My boys own very little camo. Only a few items used for paintballing. So the camo look is something they are not quite used to. 

Grandpa Leonard is my mom's dad. 4 generations! Again, we missed so many pictures - we were just so side-tracked. I also was able to visit with my grandma Donnie, who is my dad's mom. I love that I have so much family around!

There were slumber parties - where I made flavored popcorn with my little Katie (I have a big Katie in Utah, and a little Katie in Missouri) who is also my namesake. Little Miss Kaitlyn Rhennia was my Sous Chef. "But my name is not Sue!" I love her!

There was a birthday party for my adorable little Leah.

I can never get enough Daddy time! Here is my dad with my sister's husband, Mike.

Finally, the annual kid pyramid.

A few last family shots with the people that were there before we headed to Atlanta to meet Greg at our connecting flight and hop on a plane back to Chile. 

Us with baby Colton!

My sister (and best friend) Shellie's family.

My brother Matt's family. We LOVE his wife, Erin - she is totally one of us!

My brother Randy's family. His fiancé Casey and their new baby. I am so glad my brothers have chosen wives that we adore. Sometimes families are not so lucky. 

It was an unbelievable trip. We came back to Chile and had just under a week to rest up before the semester started for my kids. Time here has just flown by. 3 1/2 months from now, we'll be on a plane back to the US for good. Wow. Some days, I never thought I'd make it, now I can't believe we are in our final months. What a glorious opportunity this has been. BUT I will say, being back in the states made us want to stay. I think going home at the end of this year was the right decision for our family. There is a lot for us here, but our home is there, and home is good. 

Summer Vacation 2013: Part 6 - Adventures in Rome

I enjoyed my birthday on the ship - Andrew celebrated his 17th in Rome. Happy Birthday!

The kids begged us for this helmet. We, being horrible parents, said no. Can you imagine trying to lug that thing through customs?

Our first day roaming Rome alone, we headed to the Roman Forum. We quickly realized that the biggest downside of not traveling with friends: No family group pictures!

After the Roman Forum we went to the Rome Museum. 

 Apparently, I didn't pay attention in history class - ever. The kids knew all about most of the things they saw. I was amazed at what they taught me. 

I was feeling a little like Medusa with this rainy weather. 

Next stop was the Pantheon.

To celebrate Andrew's birthday, we stopped for lunch at a great little bistro just outside. 

The amazing feat was the construction of the Pantheon with the center of the ceiling open. It is still open today, so when it rains - it pours - literally, inside the building.

See the area that is roped off behind us? That is the wet area from the rain earlier in the day.

On our walk back to the apartment, we saw these street performers. It was pretty impressive.

The boys told me (again with the kids teaching me things) that the man on the ground is sitting on a larger piece of wood that has a 2x4 attached to it vertically - with another 2x4 attached horizontally to the vertical piece (like the number 7). These two pieces are hidden under the man on the ground's clothing. You see the 2x4 that is exposed? That is attached to the wood hidden in his clothing. He is resting his arm on the wood and "holding" the piece to appear like he is supporting the weight. The man on top is actually sitting on a larger piece of wood. So all the balance is dependent on the man sitting on the piece of wood on the ground. If he moves - it all comes toppling down. 

Still - even when you know the trick - it is cool!

Our final day in Rome was a long one. We were all starting to feel exhausted but we still had things to see. We headed to Vatican City. It was amazing. It was like you could visit museums from all over the world in one central location. We went to most of them. The final stop is the Sistine Chapel. I'll admit, that after having seen so many unbelievable things, that the Sistine Chapel was "yeah, that's nice". It was cool - don't get me wrong, but there were so many cool things. You have to see it but it isn't the only thing to see. There is truly an unbelievable collection housed there. 

When we came out of the Sistine Chapel, we were beat. It was past lunch and we were starving. We walked into the eating area and the Nutella stand was like a beacon of light. The boys were so excited. We had pizza and a Nutella crepe. 

The famous spiral staircase was beautiful. Everything in Vatican City was beautiful. Not one detail was overlooked.

Much to the kids' dismay, we headed over to Saint Peter's Square. 

This is the area where the Pope addresses the people. We're not Catholic, but that is still pretty cool! It was a beautiful, massive courtyard where people were stopping and having lunch around the steps. The sun was starting to peek out and felt like heaven. It was so very cold.

Dad wanted to get back to Trevi Fountain for one final stop before we called our Rome Vacation over. It was beautiful - but nothing compared to seeing it lit up that first brisk night in Rome. 

The cold and week full of fun had gotten to the kids. We wanted a picture of them throwing in their coins. Legend has it that if you throw a coin in the fountain, you'll get to come back and visit again some day. I love that we have these great pictures - showing them completely thrilled with the idea. 

"yeah, Trevi again...."

Goodbye Rome! We'll never forget the time we shared together in your city. Thank you for the amazing memories. The time we spent together on this trip will be treasured forever.