Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Should We Stay or Should We Go?

I hesitate to even write this post. We have friends in Arizona who will be livid that we are even considering longer here - and friends here who are begging us to stay. It's a double-edged sword.

Our first few months here were ... how can I describe it? It wasn't total despair (even though there were moments) but it was just so darn hard. Every. Single. Thing. Was a huge challenge. I felt trapped and alone. Hopeless. Helpless. Overwhelmed. Out of touch. It was just SO HARD!

But we've gotten past that. Largely in part to the amazing people we've met here. There is an instant bonding that comes when you are in that place and there is someone who is willing to reach their hand out and help pull you out of it. You become family. And that is a big part of what is pulling me to stay here. My new family.

Andrew is feeling that same pull. After returning from his SAAC soccer tournament in Quito, Ecuador, his teammates are begging him to stay. "We need you Andrew!" I hear it in their thick accent as I type it. Andrew sounds like Androo. I love that accent. I will miss that accent. His friends will all remain here through graduation. They all are shocked to hear he is even considering leaving.

Alex is a little less torn as a couple of his friends leave at the end of this school year.

Greg... I don't know about Greg. I don't think Greg knows about Greg.

There are some amazing opportunities that are pulling us to stay. Yet the EASY back in Arizona is a huge pull.

I feel like things are just beginning to turn around for me and I want to have the chance to live here without struggling, so I can just enjoy it.

So many things. Just when we think we've made a decision, something else pops up swaying us the other way... We're hopeless...

We do need to make a decision before we return to the states in January. So stay tuned...


  1. I think that you should stay, not that your AZ friends don't want you back, but it takes about nine months to a year to get adjusted. That is why missions are 18 months and 2 years. You are having an experience that you might not be able to get back. I am not down there and dealing with the day to day, but I can see how much you guys have grown as a family and as individuals. But you know what you can handle and you know the basics on what to do; prayer, scripture study, and going to the temple.

    P.S. I love reading your posts.

    Love ya,


    1. Belinda! You are amazing :) Thanks!

  2. Tammy,

    I miss you terribly, but I agree with everything Belinda said. I'm so glad you are finally feeling more at home there. I can't believe the awesome things you guys have been able to do in the short time you've been there. Whatever decision you make I will be so happy for you. You know your family better than anyone. You'll know what to do. I can't wait to see you in January!!!!! We missed you so much at the Twilight marathon yesterday, but I'm glad you have some friends to see it with there. We love you guys!!!