Last night when I went to bed, I felt my perspective change. As I turned out the light, I felt this sense of peace. It was almost like an, "I'm home" feeling.
It happened again this morning as I scraped the frost from my windows with a credit card and headed to school with beautiful snow covered mountains in the distance and a car full of teenagers.
Maybe it's finally setting into a routine with school starting. Maybe it's the familiar hustle and bustle of Greg preparing for a business trip. Maybe it is the added spirit in our home due to early morning seminary. Maybe I've hit the 'mark' in our time here... I can't say for sure. I credit the added spirit in our home with the bulk of it. I am just at peace finally. It's been a long time.
There was so much going on before we left that my mind was going a thousand miles an hour - always. There was so many new things happening when we got here that it was all I could do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Don't get me wrong - I don't have this whole Chile thing under control yet, but I am finally ok with that.
I am alone in this country for the first time today. Greg is off to Bolivia on business for the next 2 nights. I can't fill my own car up with gas because this country doesn't have 'self serve' pumps. You have to TALK to someone here, and I still can't do that, but I've got plenty of gas. I need to head to the store, but I can handle that. I need to get the kids back and forth from school and practices, but I know how to get there with my manual transmission driving self.
I look around our home and it is filled with someone else's things. They are not my couches, my art work, my bed (oh how I miss my sleep number bed), my plates, my pans. I finally bought some new drinking glasses and put those retched blue things in storage. I flipped the abstract art on our wall upside down so that it doesn't look like a woman's breast anymore. I hated that thing. Now, it just looks like abstract art.
I am not in any way saying that I'm ready to commit to staying longer than one year. I'm just saying that it is nice to just feel at peace again. It's been a long time coming.